Shola A.

Ideological Factors impacting rest

July 11, 2023June 19, 2023 Shola A.Leave a comment

Ideology refers to beliefs that we have that dictate our behaviour.

We live in a world where resting is misconstrued. Each one of us needs to discover what rationales we have for not resting. Here are some I can think of

Rest costs money
Rest is a form of laziness
Rest is for people who are dead because we need to hustle
Rest will lead to or cause someone to remain in poverty

If these are your reasons, then rest is such a terrible idea. No one should rest. What you believe about rest will determine whether you will want to do it.

In this blog, I provide reasons why rest should not have any negative connotation and that it is even a spiritual activity and part of our worship. To desire rest, we need to believe that rest is something desirable.

Factors Impacting Rest

July 4, 2023June 19, 2023 Shola A.1 Comment

Thanks to those who gave me feedback during the “Reflecting on Rest” posts. You can still give your feedback here, here, and here.

One question I received is about how to desire rest. (Thanks Rhoda for this question). There are several parts to this question and I will answer them over several posts.

Beginning with a general overview, there are several factors impacting our rest. Here are some of them. I shall explore each one of them more fully later.

Medical: health conditions can impact your rest. People with depression, illness, may sleep more or less and will not necessarily feel rested.
Physical:
Nutrition: yes, what you eat or don’t eat impacts your ability to rest.
Environmental: Environments can include natural or human made ones. The season, the climate of your home, changing environments, moving to a new house, and so on can impact your ability to rest.
Biological: hormone fluctuations as we age, monthly cycles for women (and men too) impact rest.
Social: the people we associate with whether children, parents, friends, co-workers can influence the choices we make about rest.
Political: living in a politically unstable environment will negatively impact your rest.
Legal and rules: There are laws and rules that impact our ability to rest. For instance, in some work places, some employers will not pay new mothers during maternity leave. On the other hand, people who work overtime get extra money– who doesn’t want extra money?
Financial (socio economic) your kind of job, your financial status will impact your ability to rest.
Ideological: these are the beliefs you have about rest, work, and the purpose of life. If you don’t believe that rest is good for you, how can you rest?

Several factors impact rest. You can start thinking about the most prominent factors affecting your rest.

Sleep is a spiritual experience: Ps 127

June 13, 2023May 8, 2023 Shola A.Leave a comment

Ps 127:2b: For God gives sleep to those he loves

This Psalm is one my favourites. Read the whole thing here. Let’s focus on verse 2b.

When I was in High School, I had a teacher who told us that a responsible person would sleep no more than 6 hours per day. He claimed that he sleeps for 4 hours per night and that he devotes the rest of the night time to praying and studying. He even said that if we slept more than 6 hours that we were wasting our lives and that we were lazy. He then quoted the follwing Bible passage (Prov 24:33) that says “a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want, like an armed warrior.”

I was deeply impacted by what this teacher said and I decided to reduce my sleep. I normally slept 8-10 hours during this time. (This is around the recommended time for teenagers). Sleep felt good. But out of fear that I was going to become poor because of too much sleep, I decided to reduce my sleep. I stayed awake staring about my school textbooks till midnight and I set alarms to wake up at 4am.

After three days of doing this, I felt miserable. I was too tired to eat well. I had trouble concentrating in school. I was angry and irritable all the time. I could not even understand whatever I read in the midnight. By the end of the week, I decided to stop. I resumed my normal 8-10 hours of sleep but I felt guilty about it. About a week later, I was studying my Bible and came across this verse in Ps 127:2 “God gives sleep to his beloved.”

I heard a voice that asked me “Do you think God loves you?” I answered yes. Then I looked at this passage again and realized that if I believe God loves me, then sleep is an experience of God’s love for me.

Since that day, I go to bed every night thanking God for his love to me through sleep. Sleep is part of my spirituality. You can make it part of yours too.

(There will no posts for the rest of June. The blog is taking a break. See you first week in July.)

Rest tip: Plan to be stressed

June 6, 2023May 8, 2023 Shola A.Leave a comment

Sometimes stress is unavoidable. If you have a major life change, stress is normal. For instance, if you have a newborn child, you are supposed to have sleepless nights. If you have a deadline coming up, you are allowed to be anxious and nervous… In situations like this, all you can do is to plan to be stressed.

I love this tip so much and I find myself using it very frequently. The concept is simple. It is when you know in advance that a period will be stressful, you make a plan to make your life as easy as possible to whatever extent that is possible.

My stress plan is more complicated and includes several aspects. I’ll be sharing more later on. But at the very least, your stress plan should include three main aspects: food, sleep, and recovery plan. Then on each aspect, try to determine how the stress will impact it and your plan to address it. Here is an example.

Scenario:

I am starting a new job in two weeks time.

Food:

I don’t know if there is a place to buy lunch at work. I don’t know what kind of food they sell in the area.

Action: I should cook in advance and take food with me to work. I can also ask my supervisor or the Human Resource manager to ask food facilities they have in the area.

Sleep:

The job starts at 9am and it will take me 1hr to get there. So I have to leave home at 8am. I need 1hr to get ready so I have to wake up at 7am. This is a problem because I normally go to bed at 11pm and get up at 8am.

Action: So that my sleep won’t suffer too much, I will try going to bed earlier, 10pm or 10.30pm.

Recovery:

Since this is a new job that goes from Monday to Friday, weekends are the only time I can rest. Will the weekend be enough time to recover? I don’t know.

Action: I will clear my schedule for the first weekend after I start my work. I will review what went well this week and decide what I need to continue or change for the future.

Plan to be stressed when you have no other choice but to be stressed.

(Note: the last two weeks of June will be a break time for this blog. No posts will be made then).

My list of three books

June 6, 2023 Shola A.Leave a comment

Daily writing prompt

List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?

View all responses

Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher is one book that has impacted me. It is a book for multipotentialites (aka scanners) and it helped me understand my personality better.

The Bible(s). There are different Bibles with different set of books. I enjoy reading them all and they are a constant source of challenge, inspiration, agony, and encouragement.

Finally, Igbo Olodumare by Daniel Fagunwa is a Yoruba novel of mysterious creatures that exist in a mythical place. The literary style is so rich and invigorating.

Taking time to reflect: Your Rest “Where I’m from” Poem

May 30, 2023May 8, 2023 Shola A.Leave a comment

The weekly posts for the rest of May will focus on techniques to help you reflect on your rest habits. Here is the 4th one in the series. Read the first one here. Read the second one here. The third one here.

Rest is not something that happens to you. It is something that you make happen. You make it happen when you give it thought and planning, when you act on your plans, reflect on what happened, and make changes in the future. This is why “keeping the sabbath” is a commandment. You have to do it.

Writing a poem is an excellent way to connect to yourself. The poem does not have to be perfect. The ends don’t have to rhyme. You don’t have to share it with anyone (although I would love to read it if you share). You don’t have to follow any special rules. The point of this poem is for you to reflect on your rest habits and experiences. In this post, I have chosen the “I am from” poem as a template.

The “Where I’m from” poem comes from George Ella Lyon, an American poet who sought to explore how the roots of places, events, people and things shape our lives. You can read more about it here. There are no real rules to writing this poem except that you begin each line with “I am from…”

As you write your “I am from” poem, I ask you to tailor your poem to rest. Let’s work on a few lines here but you can extend yours if you wish. Here is a template.

Your “Where I’m from” Rest Poem

I am from [an ordinary household item] that [write how this item impacts your rest]
From [animal, plant or natural item] because [write why you chose the animal, plant or natural item in relation to your rest]
I am from [home location] where [describe smell, taste, sight, sound or touch that impacts your rest]
I am from [food item] which [describe smell, taste, sight, sound or touch that impacts your rest]
From [family or heritage] whose [describe an action, behavior, attribute or characteristic that impacts your rest]
This is where I am from.

Shola’s “Where I’m from” Rest Poem

I am from bedsheets, pillows, and cover clothes that keep me warm and cozy when I sleep
From crickets and frogs because their sounds help me sleep at night
I am from the village where the smell of rain calms me to sleep
I am from eggs made with spicy pepper, tomato and onions which bring enjoyment and nourishment to my day
From hardworking parents, my dad in particular whose work ethic is just as high as his rest ethics
This is where I am from.

Would you like to share your Where I am From poem with me? Do so in the box below.

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Thank you for your response. ✨

Taking time to reflect: Recite your ABCDE

May 23, 2023May 7, 2023 Shola A.2 Comments

The weekly posts for the rest of May will focus on techniques to help you reflect on your rest habits. Here is the 3rd one in the series. Read the first one here. Read the second one here.

Here is another technique to help you reflect on rest: recite your ABCDE. I encountered this acronym in education circles. Teachers may use it to teach tweens and teenagers how to make good decisions when they are out with friends. But I modify it to help you reflect on your rest habits.

Think of a recent experience that impacted your ability to rest. Then go through the following ABCDE.

A is for Assessing the problem
B is for brainstorming alternatives
C is consider the consequences of your options, both positive and negative
D is for decide how to act.
E is for evaluate. Reflect on the outcome.

May I ask you to also reflect on this blog? How might this blog serve you better? Please fill out the feedback form below. I would love to hear from you. If you have fill previous ones, thank you so much. This has new questions, please consider filling it too. It is the last form in this series. Thank you.

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Taking time to reflect: Use your BRAIN

May 16, 2023May 7, 2023 Shola A.4 Comments

The weekly posts for the rest of May will focus on techniques to help you reflect on your rest habits. Here is the 2nd one in the series. Read the first one here.

As you rest more, use your literal brain, of course. And use the other BRAIN. This acronym comes from maternity circles. When a woman is in labour or even after delivery, several situations may arise requiring her to make decisions on how best to proceed. The acronym BRAIN is a tool that women may use to help them make the best decision. In our case, we use this acronym to reflect on our rest.

Think of a situation that impacts your rest. For instance, you may be trying to decide whether you should take on extra responsibility, take that nap, or stay up late to watch that movie. Pick a situation and reflect on the following:

B is for Benefits. What is the benefit of doing this?
R is for risks. What risk am I taking by doing this?
A is for alternative. What alternative is there if I do not do this?
I is for intuition. What is my intuition telling me about this?
N is for No, not now or never. Can I say no, not now or never to doing this?

May I ask you to reflect so that this blog can serve your needs better? (You may have filled a form last week. The questions are different. I welcome your feedback if you choose to fill this one as well).

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Thank you for your response. ✨

Taking time to reflect: The 4 Ls technique

May 9, 2023May 7, 2023 Shola A.4 Comments

The weekly posts for the rest of May will focus on techniques to help you reflect on your rest habits. Here’s the first one.

Rest is not something that happens to you. It is something that you make happen. You make it happen when you give it thought and planning, when you act on your plans, reflect on what happened, and make changes in the future. This is why “keeping the sabbath” is a commandment. You have to do it.

There are techniques to help you reflect. Here is the “4 Ls”. It comes from Project Management circles and they use it to access how well they have done after completing a project.

Think of a time when you tried to rest and then answer the following questions

What did you LIKE about that rest experience?
What did the rest experience LACK?
What did you LEARN from that experience of rest?
What did you LONG FOR in that rest experience?

May I also ask you to reflect on this blog? I would love to know how best I can help you reclaim TROG, the Rest of God for you.

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Thank you for your response. ✨

Case Study continuation: What are your rest needs?

May 2, 2023April 17, 2023 Shola A.Leave a comment

The last post was about a case study of Sarah and her life’s stress. You can read about that here.

Given Sarah’s exhaustion from her different responsibilities, now let’s look at Sarah’s response:

The exhaustion from life was getting too much so Sarah decided to get a three day weekend break from her job. She went on a cruise. She had a nice time participating extensively in the events on the ship such as dance competitions and singing competitions. When she came back, she was tired from the trip. She resumed her work the next day and continued doing her best to survive.

Now let’s assess Sarah’s response: highlighting what is praiseworthy, what she could have done differently, and what next steps she should take in the future.

Praiseworthy

We should also praise Sarah for recognizing that she needs a break. Some people may keep going nonstop. Recognizing that something is wrong is a good place to start.
A cruise may be a nice way to relax, be in a different environment, experience something new.

What she could have done differently

A cruise will not resolve the conflict between her and her spouse. She likely needs to find a way to directly deal with her husband and get their issues sorted out.
Going on a cruise does not resolve the fact that Sarah has limited physical capacity to keep being a nurse while she has four children.

Next steps

Sarah still needs to find a way to address her other problems. No amount of vacation will solve emotional tensions with her husband.
Sarah next time should leave space to recover from the cruise before starting work the next day.

There are other points you may come up with. For now, I hope to encourage you to revise your experience and learn from it. Experience may be the best teacher. Reflection on experience is how we learn.

You deserve TROG!