Category: general wellness

Defining Work

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Sometimes the reason we don’t rest enough is because we undermine the amount of work we do.

It seems clear that when you have an employment that pays you to do something, then what you do is “work”. Whether or not you’re paid, you may be working. Here are other examples of work.

  • A housewife who cleans the house, cooks, and cares for her children
  • A young person volunteers their time to “help” someone else in their business
  • When you help your friend pick up his child from school

I wish I could give you a straightforward definition of work. But I don’t have any to give. Instead I offer you some suggestions to help you know when you’ve “worked”.

  1. How do you feel before activity? If you feel like you “have to” do it, then it is likely work.
  2. How do you feel during the activity? If you feel like you’re spending yourself, that is draining your energy reserves, your emotional and physical capacity, then it is likely work.
  3. How do you feel after the activity? If you feel tired whether physical, emotional or mental, then it is likely work. Rest, on the other hand, leaves you feeling energized, refreshed and replenished.

Reflect on all the ways you’re working hard. When you realize just how much it is, you may find it easier to take time to rest.

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Rest is God’s gift.

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Eccl. 3:9   What gain have the workers from their toil? 10 I have seen the business that God has given to everyone to be busy with. 11 He has made everything suitable for its time; moreover he has put a sense of past and future into their minds, yet they cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they live; 13 moreover, it is God’s gift that all should eat and drink and take pleasure in all their toil. 

The passage under focus today comes immediately after the popular verses of “there’s a time to die, a time to live…” In the verses above, the preacher (the writer of Ecclesiastes), teaches that it is God’s gift for people to eat and drink and take pleasure in their work. Verse 10 and 13 show God giving us the gift of work and the gift to enjoy work. 

There was a time I would tell myself, “if worrying was a profession, that’s the job I would do.” I had a habit of thinking so much about my past and my future. I told myself that “if I do all the extra work now, I can retire early or have a better retirement.” This kind of thinking led me to working excessively and postponing my joy till retirement.

Perhaps you are like my former self. Even if you’re not, our passage today asks us to consider the balance between work and rest. Both are gifts from God. Stop cheating yourself.

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What is your rest ethic?

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You’re probably familiar with the concept of a work ethic. These are the ideals, values and principles that you live by as it relates to your work. As an example, my work ethic includes that I show up on time for my appointments, I strive for excellence in my work, and I keep my commitments.

You likely have a work ethic. Now, do you have a rest ethic? If not, it is time to design one. Your rest ethic, just like your work ethic, is the ideals, values, and principles that you live by as it relates to your rest. As an example, my rest ethic includes that I go to bed by 8pm every single day, I cook my own food at least 4 times a week, I check in with my body at least once a day, and I drink at least one full glass of water before or after I go to the bathroom.

Your rest ethic can look different from mine. In fact, my rest ethic has changed as my life and work have changed. What matters the most is that you define your rest ethic. It will help you rest more.

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Stop End-gaining

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End-gaining is a term I learned from the Alexander Technique, a physical rehabilitation technique. End-gaining is when we prioritize and put all our focus on the goal that we do not pay attention to the process by which we reach that goal. Here are some examples

– You want to turn in your 10-page paper by the 11pm deadline today. You ignore the fact that you’re hungry, tired and in need of sleep.

-You’re so focused on your promotion at work that you do not mind whose toes you step on to get there.

-You’re so focused on sharing your opinion that you don’t care whose feelings get hurt in the way.

-You’re so focused on the kingdom of God, you have little respect for the earth.

-You’re so focused at the work that you’re doing on your desk that you are not paying attention to your slouched shoulders, and overall bad posture.

How else can you be end-gaining at the moment? Please find ways to stop. If you wonder whether the end justifies the means, then please consider that end-gaining may be short-changing your well-being. (And yes, that was supposed to rhyme).

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If you’re HALT, then halt

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HALT is an acronym for Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.

Before starting a new task, a meeting, or if you’re wondering if  you are okay, if you’d like to check in with yourself, this acronym is a good question to ask  yourself. Take a moment to ask yourself, “Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired right now?” 

Asking yourself this quick question can save you from making statements or taking actions you will regret later. When we are HALT, our brains don’t work as well as they normally would. Our emotions and hormones are all over the place. Our capacity to respond rationally dwindles.

By asking yourself this question, you give yourself an opportunity to address it. If you realize you’re hungry, you can eat something before starting the next thing. Even if you can’t eat, being aware helps you be more mindful of yourself.

If you’re HALT, then halt.

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Ideological Factors impacting rest

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Ideology refers to beliefs that we have that dictate our behaviour.

We live in a world where resting is misconstrued. Each one of us needs to discover what rationales we have for not resting. Here are some I can think of

  1. Rest costs money
  2. Rest is a form of laziness
  3. Rest is for people who are dead because we need to hustle
  4. Rest will lead to or cause someone to remain in poverty

If these are your reasons, then rest is such a terrible idea. No one should rest. What you believe about rest will determine whether you will want to do it.

In this blog, I provide reasons why rest should not have any negative connotation and that it is even a spiritual activity and part of our worship. To desire rest, we need to believe that rest is something desirable.

Factors Impacting Rest

Shola A.1 Comment

Thanks to those who gave me feedback during the “Reflecting on Rest” posts. You can still give your feedback here, here, and here.

One question I received is about how to desire rest. (Thanks Rhoda for this question). There are several parts to this question and I will answer them over several posts.

Beginning with a general overview, there are several factors impacting our rest. Here are some of them. I shall explore each one of them more fully later.

  • Medical: health conditions can impact your rest. People with depression, illness, may sleep more or less and will not necessarily feel rested.
  • Physical: 
  • Nutrition: yes, what you eat or don’t eat impacts your ability to rest.
  • Environmental: Environments can include natural or human made ones. The season, the climate of your home, changing environments, moving to a new house, and so on can impact your ability to rest.
  • Biological: hormone fluctuations as we age, monthly cycles for women (and men too) impact rest.
  • Social: the people we associate with whether children, parents, friends, co-workers can influence the choices we make about rest.
  • Political: living in a politically unstable environment will negatively impact your rest. 
  • Legal and rules: There are laws and rules that impact our ability to rest. For instance, in some work places, some employers will not pay new mothers during maternity leave. On the other hand, people who work overtime get extra money– who doesn’t want extra money?
  • Financial (socio economic) your kind of job, your financial status will impact your ability to rest.
  • Ideological: these are the beliefs you have about rest, work, and the purpose of life. If you don’t believe that rest is good for you, how can you rest?

Several factors impact rest. You can start thinking about the most prominent factors affecting your rest.

Sleep is a spiritual experience: Ps 127

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Ps 127:2b: For God gives sleep to those he loves

This Psalm is one my favourites. Read the whole thing here. Let’s focus on verse 2b.

When I was in High School, I had a teacher who told us that a responsible person would sleep no more than 6 hours per day. He claimed that he sleeps for 4 hours per night and that he devotes the rest of the night time to praying and studying. He even said that if we slept more than 6 hours that we were wasting our lives and that we were lazy. He then quoted the follwing Bible passage (Prov 24:33) that says “a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come upon  you like a robber, and want, like an armed warrior.”

I was deeply impacted by what this teacher said and I decided to reduce my sleep. I normally slept 8-10 hours during this time. (This is around the recommended time for teenagers). Sleep felt good. But out of fear that I was going to become poor because of too much sleep, I decided to reduce my sleep. I stayed awake staring about my school textbooks till midnight and I set alarms to wake up at 4am.

After three days of doing this, I felt miserable. I was too tired to eat well. I had trouble concentrating in school. I was angry and irritable all the time. I could not even understand whatever I read in the midnight. By the end of the week, I decided to stop. I resumed my normal 8-10 hours of sleep but I felt guilty about it. About a week later, I was studying my Bible and came across this verse in Ps 127:2 “God gives sleep to his beloved.”

I heard a voice that asked me “Do you think God loves you?” I answered yes. Then I looked at this passage again and realized that if I believe God loves me, then sleep is an experience of God’s love for me.

Since that day, I go to bed every night thanking God for his love to me through sleep. Sleep is part of my spirituality. You can make it part of yours too.

(There will no posts for the rest of June. The blog is taking a break. See you first week in July.)

Rest tip: Plan to be stressed

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Sometimes stress is unavoidable. If you have a major life change, stress is normal. For instance, if you have a newborn child, you are supposed to have sleepless nights. If you have a deadline coming up, you are allowed to be anxious and nervous… In situations like this, all you can do is to plan to be stressed.

I love this tip so much and I find myself using it very frequently. The concept is simple. It is when you know in advance that a period will be stressful, you make a plan to make your life as easy as possible to whatever extent that is possible.

My stress plan is more complicated and includes several aspects. I’ll be sharing more later on. But at the very least, your stress plan should include three main aspects: food, sleep, and recovery plan. Then on each aspect, try to determine how the stress will impact it and your plan to address it. Here is an example.

Scenario:

I am starting a new job in two weeks time.

Food:

I don’t know if there is a place to buy lunch at work. I don’t know what kind of food they sell in the area.

Action: I should cook in advance and take food with me to work. I can also ask my supervisor or the Human Resource manager to ask food facilities they have in the area.

Sleep:

The job starts at 9am and it will take me 1hr to get there. So I have to leave home at 8am. I need 1hr to get ready so I have to wake up at 7am. This is a problem because I normally go to bed at 11pm and get up at 8am.

Action: So that my sleep won’t suffer too much, I will try going to bed earlier, 10pm or 10.30pm.

Recovery:

Since this is a new job that goes from Monday to Friday, weekends are the only time I can rest. Will the weekend be enough time to recover? I don’t know.

Action: I will clear my schedule for the first weekend after I start my work. I will review what went well this week and decide what I need to continue or change for the future.

Plan to be stressed when you have no other choice but to be stressed.

(Note: the last two weeks of June will be a break time for this blog. No posts will be made then).

Taking time to reflect: Your Rest “Where I’m from” Poem

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The weekly posts for the rest of May will focus on techniques to help you reflect on your rest habits. Here is the 4th one in the series. Read the first one here. Read the second one here. The third one here.

Rest is not something that happens to you. It is something that you make happen. You make it happen when you give it thought and planning, when you act on your plans, reflect on what happened, and make changes in the future. This is why “keeping the sabbath” is a commandment. You have to do it.

Writing a poem is an excellent way to connect to yourself. The poem does not have to be perfect. The ends don’t have to rhyme. You don’t have to share it with anyone (although I would love to read it if you share). You don’t have to follow any special rules. The point of this poem is for you to reflect on your rest habits and experiences. In this post, I have chosen the “I am from” poem as a template.

The “Where I’m from” poem comes from George Ella Lyon, an American poet who sought to explore how the roots of places, events, people and things shape our lives. You can read more about it here. There are no real rules to writing this poem except that you begin each line with “I am from…”

As you write your “I am from” poem, I ask you to tailor your poem to rest. Let’s work on a few lines here but you can extend yours if you wish. Here is a template.

Your “Where I’m from” Rest Poem

I am from [an ordinary household item] that [write how this item impacts your rest]
From [animal, plant or natural item] because [write why you chose the animal, plant or natural item in relation to your rest]
I am from [home location] where [describe smell, taste, sight, sound or touch that impacts your rest]
I am from [food item] which [describe smell, taste, sight, sound or touch that impacts your rest]
From [family or heritage] whose [describe an action, behavior, attribute or characteristic that impacts your rest]
This is where I am from.

Shola’s “Where I’m from” Rest Poem

I am from bedsheets, pillows, and cover clothes that keep me warm and cozy when I sleep
From crickets and frogs because their sounds help me sleep at night
I am from the village where the smell of rain calms me to sleep
I am from eggs made with spicy pepper, tomato and onions which bring enjoyment and nourishment to my day
From hardworking parents, my dad in particular whose work ethic is just as high as his rest ethics
This is where I am from.

Would you like to share your Where I am From poem with me? Do so in the box below.

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