If you don’t know, now you do. My favourite rest doctor is Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith. If you know her, tell her I’m a fan. Dr Dalton-Smith in her book, Sacred Rest, tells people to learn to give an honest no instead of a polite yes. Let’s break that down. The polite yes is the yes you give when:
-Your friend comes asking you to do something. Even though you know you’re tired, busy at the moment. You say yes because you don’t want to disappoint your friend.
-You say yes to the extra responsibility your boss has given you because you don’t want your boss to dislike you.
-You say yes to peer pressure to spend extra hours at a social function because you don’t want the hosts to be offended.
-You say yes because you’re so polite and don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.
Unfortunately, too much of the polite yes may be ruining your rest, sleep and health. Now is the time to give the honest no.
The honest no is your response that reflects your real capacity to do something. If you are tired and you need to sleep and your friend is asking you to stay up longer, the honest no is when you say,
-“I’m really loving our company at the moment but I honestly cannot stay longer as I need to rest.”
-Your boss wants to give you an extra responsibility and you say, “I understand that you value me as an employee and would love for me to do this extra work. I honestly do not think that I have the capacity to handle this right now.”
It is understandable that we are concerned about how saying “no” may affect our relationship to others. In fact sometimes, there may be a real fear of repercussions if we say “no” especially to those with power over us or even just to our kids. More on this later. For now, can you begin to examine relatively simple/low-stake areas where you can give the honest no instead of the polite yes?
Consider starting with your family and friends, people that will love and care for you no matter what.
Everything Shola 