Category: wellbeing

Defining Work

Shola A.Leave a comment

Sometimes the reason we don’t rest enough is because we undermine the amount of work we do.

It seems clear that when you have an employment that pays you to do something, then what you do is “work”. Whether or not you’re paid, you may be working. Here are other examples of work.

  • A housewife who cleans the house, cooks, and cares for her children
  • A young person volunteers their time to “help” someone else in their business
  • When you help your friend pick up his child from school

I wish I could give you a straightforward definition of work. But I don’t have any to give. Instead I offer you some suggestions to help you know when you’ve “worked”.

  1. How do you feel before activity? If you feel like you “have to” do it, then it is likely work.
  2. How do you feel during the activity? If you feel like you’re spending yourself, that is draining your energy reserves, your emotional and physical capacity, then it is likely work.
  3. How do you feel after the activity? If you feel tired whether physical, emotional or mental, then it is likely work. Rest, on the other hand, leaves you feeling energized, refreshed and replenished.

Reflect on all the ways you’re working hard. When you realize just how much it is, you may find it easier to take time to rest.

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What is your rest ethic?

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You’re probably familiar with the concept of a work ethic. These are the ideals, values and principles that you live by as it relates to your work. As an example, my work ethic includes that I show up on time for my appointments, I strive for excellence in my work, and I keep my commitments.

You likely have a work ethic. Now, do you have a rest ethic? If not, it is time to design one. Your rest ethic, just like your work ethic, is the ideals, values, and principles that you live by as it relates to your rest. As an example, my rest ethic includes that I go to bed by 8pm every single day, I cook my own food at least 4 times a week, I check in with my body at least once a day, and I drink at least one full glass of water before or after I go to the bathroom.

Your rest ethic can look different from mine. In fact, my rest ethic has changed as my life and work have changed. What matters the most is that you define your rest ethic. It will help you rest more.

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If you’re HALT, then halt

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HALT is an acronym for Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.

Before starting a new task, a meeting, or if you’re wondering if  you are okay, if you’d like to check in with yourself, this acronym is a good question to ask  yourself. Take a moment to ask yourself, “Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired right now?” 

Asking yourself this quick question can save you from making statements or taking actions you will regret later. When we are HALT, our brains don’t work as well as they normally would. Our emotions and hormones are all over the place. Our capacity to respond rationally dwindles.

By asking yourself this question, you give yourself an opportunity to address it. If you realize you’re hungry, you can eat something before starting the next thing. Even if you can’t eat, being aware helps you be more mindful of yourself.

If you’re HALT, then halt.

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Factors Impacting Rest

Shola A.1 Comment

Thanks to those who gave me feedback during the “Reflecting on Rest” posts. You can still give your feedback here, here, and here.

One question I received is about how to desire rest. (Thanks Rhoda for this question). There are several parts to this question and I will answer them over several posts.

Beginning with a general overview, there are several factors impacting our rest. Here are some of them. I shall explore each one of them more fully later.

  • Medical: health conditions can impact your rest. People with depression, illness, may sleep more or less and will not necessarily feel rested.
  • Physical: 
  • Nutrition: yes, what you eat or don’t eat impacts your ability to rest.
  • Environmental: Environments can include natural or human made ones. The season, the climate of your home, changing environments, moving to a new house, and so on can impact your ability to rest.
  • Biological: hormone fluctuations as we age, monthly cycles for women (and men too) impact rest.
  • Social: the people we associate with whether children, parents, friends, co-workers can influence the choices we make about rest.
  • Political: living in a politically unstable environment will negatively impact your rest. 
  • Legal and rules: There are laws and rules that impact our ability to rest. For instance, in some work places, some employers will not pay new mothers during maternity leave. On the other hand, people who work overtime get extra money– who doesn’t want extra money?
  • Financial (socio economic) your kind of job, your financial status will impact your ability to rest.
  • Ideological: these are the beliefs you have about rest, work, and the purpose of life. If you don’t believe that rest is good for you, how can you rest?

Several factors impact rest. You can start thinking about the most prominent factors affecting your rest.

Learning to Give the Honest “no”

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Dr Dalton-Smith in her book tells people to learn to give an honest no instead of a polite yes. Let’s break that down. The polite yes is the yes you give when:

Your friend comes asking you to do something. Even though you know you’re tired and busy at the moment. You say yes because you don’t want to disappoint your friend. You say yes to the extra responsibility your boss has given you because you don’t want your boss to dislike you. You say yes to peer pressure to spend extra hours at a social function because you don’t want the hosts to be offended. You say yes because you’re so polite and don’t want to step on anyone’s toes. 

Unfortunately, too much of the polite yes may be ruining your rest, sleep and health. Now is the time to give the honest no.

The honest no is your response that reflects your real capacity to do something.

If you are tired and you need to sleep and your friend is asking you to stay up longer, the honest no is when you say, “I’m really loving our company at the moment but I honestly cannot stay longer as I need to rest.”

Your boss wants to give you an extra responsibility and you say, “I understand that you value me as an employee and would love for me to do this extra work. I honestly do not think that I have the capacity to do an excellent job at the momentally to those with power over us or even just to our kids.

More on this later. For now, can you begin to examine relatively simple/low-stake areas where you can give the honest no instead of the polite yes?

Consider starting with your family and friends, people that will love and care for you no matter what.